


Talking Body (Remix of Holy Communion)

by ZedElla (Leviarty)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Pining, Resolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 08:43:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4428866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leviarty/pseuds/ZedElla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s not even sure if its real, or if he’s imagining the look McKay gives him, but he is so full of desire that he can’t see anything else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talking Body (Remix of Holy Communion)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Holy Communion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4387178) by [ZedElla (Leviarty)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leviarty/pseuds/ZedElla). 



John Sheppard likes to think he knows Rodney better than anyone in the Pegasus Galaxy, certainly better than some floozy who’s been following him around M8Y-701 all day. And, okay, John knows he has no right to be jealous, because it’s not like Rodney is _his_ (no matter how much he wants it), but it still irritates him to no end.

And Ronon is just laughing about it, because that’s what Ronon does.

Rodney, of course, is oblivious to it all, as he always is, but John wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up, and Ronon was too busy enjoying the hilarity of it all to say anything. But Teyla? Teyla waits until Kallum is out of earshot to lean a little closer to Rodney and whisper “He seems very interested in you.” John makes a mental note to cheat in their next sparing match.

Then Rodney is flustered and blushing, and declaring that “no, he’s just being helpful,” until it finally dawns on him that, nope, Kallum has been hardcore flirting with him for the last two hours.

And what happens next, well, it’s so out of the realm of possibility that it almost knocks Sheppard on his ass. Because no, Rodney couldn’t possibly be flirting back. Rodney liked women – smart women – not men who couldn’t smart their way out of a paper bag. John has empirical evidence to support this, and while he has no evidence that definitively says Rodney doesn’t like men too, he’s managed to convince himself that any perceived inclinations to the contrary are merely wishful thinking. He knows that his glasses are, at times, rose colored.

Except, now there is evidence that Rodney at least as a situational interest in men, and that might have been more of a revelation, if his attention wasn’t focus on this guy who’s IQ couldn’t have been much higher than that of trained monkey.

And Kallum, it turns out, isn’t there to just be helpful, he’s there because he wants the ZPM for himself, and Rodney is the fastest way to get it, and if that isn’t just fucking typical, John doesn’t know what is.

Rodney is annoyed, because he hates being manipulated, hates having his emotions toyed with, and John is pissed because he’s had to watch this whole thing go on for hours.

“Perhaps if you talked to Rodney,” Teyla said when Sheppard slammed his locker closed. Rodney was long gone, at that point. “Told him how you feel.”

John has considered that, thought about it a dozen times. Logically, he knew that doing so wouldn’t bring about the end of the world, but it had the potential to do enough damage to feel like it. John didn’t have a lot of friends, and for that matter, neither did Rodney, and John didn’t want to throw the grenade that would blow it all to hell.

But sometimes Rodney looked at him with soft eyes and John thinks that maybe it wouldn’t be the end of everything. He doesn’t know how red his glasses are, doesn’t trust his ability to judge things impartially.

But Teyla wouldn’t encourage him if she thought it was backfired right in his face.

He arrives at Rodney’s quarters just as Rodney does – he must have stopped to grab some dinner while John was finishing up in the locker rooms.

“What can I do for you, Colonel?” Rodney asks, and there’s a light in his eyes that sparks something in Sheppard. He’s not even sure if its real, or if he’s imagining the look McKay gives him, but he is so full of desire that he can’t see anything else. It’s all the encouragement he needs to follow him into his room. He hardly waits for the door to close behind them before taking Rodney’s face in his hands, and kissing him, hard.

It takes Rodney by surprise, and it shows. In an instant, all of John’s bravado falls away because this? This was a huge mistake he was making, one that he can’t take back, can’t fix. He’s not sure he can live with it either.

But then Rodney’s lips are moving with his, returning all of it with equal force. His hands are roaming, and every touch seems almost too much – he’s all nerves, but this? This is everything John wants. He wants to savor every moment of it, the taste of Rodney’s lips, the feel of his skin. He never wants to stop.

They break apart long enough to strip each other of clothes, but the moment is far too long, and John hungrily kisses him again, guiding them toward the bed.

“Is this okay?” he whispers, because as much as he wants, he doesn’t want it if Rodney isn’t sure.

“Yes. _God_ , yes,” Rodney says, and John thinks just hearing those words, the way he says them, it might make him come right there.

He kisses Rodney’s ear, his neck, his shoulders, his chest. There is no part of Rodney he doesn’t want, but he takes it slow, takes the opportunity to focus all of his attention on each part of him before moving on. He could do this forever, he thinks.

He hears Rodney whimper a little as he kisses his hip, and he is _right there_. Rodney is hard, aching for John perhaps as much as John is aching to give this to him, to have all of him. John kisses the head before taking him into his mouth; Rodney lets out a little gasp, arches as John moves up and down his shaft.

It’s only a few short motions before Rodney is coming, and John feels a surge of… something, though he isn’t sure what, but it stems from knowing that he has this power over Rodney, and he wonders if Rodney knows how much power he has over John.

He kisses his stomach and his chest before rolling to his back, lying shoulder to shoulder with Rodney, and takes his own erection into his hand. He knows it won’t take much, that he’s already _so fucking close_ , but Rodney brushes his hand away, won’t let him take care of it alone.

“Rodney,” he moans, as his lips brush against his chest. He knows he’s not gonna make it, if Rodney keeps this up. Every touch burns like hot coals, like ice water running down his spine. Rodney’s mouth is finally around him, and he’s coming in an instant. Overcome with extreme giddiness, he can’t help the laughter that escapes his lips. It’s the best felling in the world. Of all the things he could have imagined – and he has imagined it – this is better than all of it.

And later, when his body has finally stopped buzzing from what he thinks might be the best orgasm of his life, when he’s on the verge of falling asleep, he feels Rodney get out of bed.

“Rodney?” he asks, but doesn’t receive a response. Probably going to the bathroom, he thinks, and starts to doze off again, but when several minutes pass and Rodney is still not back, he sits up to look around.

Rodney is on the balcony, with his face buried in his hands, and for a moment, John feels a twinge of dread, but squashes it down, and walks out to the balcony. He starts to wrap his arms around Rodney’ waist, starts to kiss the spot where his shoulder meets his neck, but Rodney’s whole body stiffens like a board, and that’s when all the dread pours back into him. He let’s go immediately, settles into the space next to Rodney, arms close but not actually touching. He watches Rodney, a million thoughts running through his mind but he doesn’t even know where to begin. He doesn’t know how to apologize for what happened, how to return to just friends.

“What are we doing here, Colonel?” he asks. John tenses. If he thought he was somehow going to make it through this, he was wrong, because this is going to break him.

“I don’t know, _Doctor_ ,” he says, and he can feel his eyes prickling, but he’s not going to do this here, not going to show Rodney just how much he’s ruined him. “I thought I was having truly excellent sex with my best friend, and enjoying a little post-coital cuddling.” Maybe, maybe if he can convince them both that this is just a thing between friends, maybe he can keep this whole thing from falling apart completely.

“What’s your objective here?”

John can’t even begin to fathom  what that’s supposed to mean. “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

“I mean, what do you get out of this? Most of the people who show any interest in me are after something else entirely: ZPM, intel, crazy science.”

Oh.

This isn’t about regretting what happened. Rodney’s afraid. Just as afraid as John is.

“Rodney,” he says, and touches his arm. Rodney flinches, but he doesn’t back down. He has to show him how wrong he is. “Rodney, look at me.”

Rodney turns, and John sees that tears are already in his eyes, and no. John can’t let this happen, can’t let himself be the reason for Rodney crying.

“I’m serious, Colonel. This doesn’t happen to me. I’m not gorgeous or fit or muscular or any of that.”

“I know-” he says. He doesn’t care.

“And most of the time I’m a pain in the ass, and most people can’t stand to be around me.”

“I know.”

“So forgive me if I have a little trouble believing that you’re just after nookie. With me.”

John feels like he’s been punched. Because Rodney, who is maybe the greatest thing that’s happened to him, who brilliant and beautiful, doesn’t think he’s good enough.

“I don’t care,” John says, kissing him. “I know exactly who you are, and you  _are_  a pain in the ass, but I still like you. I think you’re beautiful. If all I wanted was a round of sex with a muscular guy, I’d be in Ronon’s room right now. But that’s not what I want.”

“Well, what do you want?”

“Maybe I just want to make crazy science with you,” he says, kissing him again. He catches Rodney rolling his eyes, but ignores it. “Seriously.” Kiss. “I like you.” Kiss. “And I’d like to keep doing this with you.” Kiss.

“Right now?”

God yes. He kisses him again. “Are you going to freak out on me again?” Another kiss.

“I can’t make any promises.”

“Rodney.” Kiss. John thinks he can handle this, can work out Rodney’s doubt, can prove to him just how much he loves him.

“Forgive me if I’m still having a little trouble wrapping my head around this.”

Kiss. “Aren’t you some kind of genius? I think you’ll catch on.” Because _god_ he loves Rodney, and thinks he’s done a pretty dreadful job of hiding it all this time, but Rodney’s been oblivious to it all along. He can’t let him continue to think that he’s after anything but this.

**Author's Note:**

> dana_san and Wanted_A_Pony wanted a prequel to Holy Communion from John's POV. Initially I had no idea what to do, but Wanted_A_Pony said "Oh, but the way John has a plan, & seems so confident & sure of his feelings (which is definitely not his default state!)--he must have been thinking about this for a while, & maybe even practicing what he might say to Rodney." and it got me thinking - John has definitely been thinking about this for a while, and he might look confident, but he's probably freaking out too. Thus this was born.
> 
> You may have noticed some subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) differences, between Rodney's interpretation in the first part, and John's thoughts and feelings in the second part. These two know each other so well, but they're not infallible, especially when it comes to one another. They're doubting each other for different reasons, and that doubt clouds their judgement and ability to really read each other.


End file.
